So this is Christmas, and what have you done?

Well, something I HAVEN'T done is keep current on my blog! I could wax on with excuses but I think that just leaving it at "life can kick your ass and get in the way" is sufficient.

So wow, it's December 21st. The damn year is almost over. It's hard to believe but as I get older time is seeming to speed up. Do you remember as a kid, that it just took FOREVER for your birthday or Christmas to come? You would get sooo excited about parties and presents and holidays? I look back now from here and the passage of time at light speed leaves me speechless. I look at friends and family-having kids and believe it or not GRANDKIDS and I look in the mirror...the jumble of thoughts that come to me-it's hard to put into words. I dont feel old enough to have kids-AT ALL! But as my illustrious mother keeps reminding me (since I turned 30 btw) that Im almost 40. Holy Sh*t. Im not old enough to be almost 40. God, does that sound dumb.

You know, I feel screwed. Not only do I have to deal with the holiday blues but I get to deal with PMS on top of it. So, instead of just feeling old, ugly, fat and that everyone hates me, I get all that with a big dollup of holiday stress like a freaking cherry on top. Makes me think of Avenue Q's "It Sucks to be Me". Haha.

I guess time is a bitch that will catch us all.

Ive spent a bit on time on Facebook. Ok, yeah I admit I check every day. I have found old friends from high school, made new friends with old high school aquantances, met new model horse people and even a few famous people (who btw are just people like everyone else but with very public profile jobs-which is cool but I dont think I could take the constant scrutiny of every detail of my life). I see my friends status updates and feel privileged that I get to share even a small part of life with them. Highest of the high and lowest of the low, we are all riding around and around on the same blue marble in space, verdad?

Ok ok ok! I have to snap out of this. I guess that's what happens when you sit in an office by yourself all day, your mind starts spinning...

I will try to cheer up I promise, and I wont leave the blogging so long :)
later y'all
C

Gay Marriage Legalized in Vermont!

Did you hear? Today Vermont overrode their governor's veto and became the 4Th state to legalize gay marriage. For this, I stand and give them slow meaningful applause. You know-at the end of the movie when the underdog finally triumphs against the bully.

Gay Marriage-Why is this such a fervently contested issue, really! I'm going to say this slowly and simply. The state of marriage is a LEGAL CONTRACT. If it were not, you wouldn't need a license to do it. The thing that gets panties in a bunch is "holy matrimony" IE, marriage sanctified by a church or religion. Contrary to what the vehemently vocal anti gay marriage people say, marriage and holy matrimony are two different things that are not mutually inclusive of each other.

For example: 2 couples. One gets married by the justice of the peace while the other does the big church wedding. Both are legally married. Now, if marriage and holy matrimony were both required to have a legally recognized marriage, the couple what went to the JP would not be married. The gist is that a church or even religion is not required in this country to have a legally valid marriage.

People who happen to be gay are first and foremost PEOPLE. They have the right to enter into legal contracts the same as anyone else. WHY do people keeping beating on this issue?? If two people find each other on this insane planet, fall in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together GOOD FOR THEM! Plumbing has nothing to do with love. What someone does in the privacy of their home is none of my or anyone else's business. "Oh, it's a sin against God, the Bible says..." Yes, but the Bible says to love your neighbor as yourself. It doesn't make exceptions for color, race, creed, size or sexual orientation. Those are all man's prejudices. People who rail against gay marriage forget also "Judge not, lest ye be judged". I can hear the reaction now "OH, well, you can't pick and choose what parts of the Bible to listen to". Bullshit, that's what they do every time they protest a murdered gay man's funeral or picket a movie. They are choosing what parts they like and ignoring the rest. They get so wrapped up trying to force their views and judging others that they forget they are hurting people with their bigotry.

I remember years ago at my old job. I had a very sweet gay couple that came to my store. They were funny, kind, giving and very much in love. They were together 15 years before they had a commitment ceremony. Just after their 25Th anniversary of being together, one had a pulmonary embolism in their home. He died in his partners arms. Did the fact that they were two men make any difference of how they felt about each other? Absolutely not.

A couple things to consider
1) Anytime you hear someone argue anything about gays, put the word Black in place of gay. It wasn't that long ago that it was against the law for black and whites to marry. Sounds bad that way right?
2) If the validity of your marriage hinges on denying that right to someone else, what does that say about your marriage?

Peace and Love
C

Soundtrack for your life

Ah, so we meet again, or is it at first?
Ive been fascinated with an idea and I thought you guys would be interested in it. Ive talked before about the Soundtrack for your life. Well, I sat down and put some serious thought to it. If all that remained of your time on the earth was a 20 song soundtrack-what songs would it contain? A way to think of it is that is a person who never met you happened to hear your soundtrack, would they get a sense of who you was by the songs you chose? For me, they would be the songs that move me, make me laugh, cry, remember and think.

I didn't take this task lightly. Music is very important to me, it is with us from the day of our birth to the day of our death. It marks important days, memories, feelings, joys and sorrows. You are probably listening to mine right now. Don't worry, just hit pause if you don't want to listen right now.

Let's be clear. This is not a "20 songs that you would have on a desert island". This is 20 songs that define YOU.

So, here is my life soundtrack. At least, so far :)
1. Sugar Blue-Jeff Finlin. This is from the Elizabethtown soundtrack. It's quiet rhythm and grace make me think of my grandmother who passed away in 2005.
2. Learning to Fly - Pink Floyd. I hear this and I'm back in high school working at MacDonald's. This song was my first introduction to Floyd. My manager who I was desperately in love with played Floyd all the time. It echoed through the grill area. It made imagine soaring.
3.Time after Time - Eva Cassidy. This performance was live at Blues Alley. Eva passed away from cancer at 33. There is a haunted quality to her voice that touches me deeply.
4. Erotic City - George Clinton and the Parlament Funkadelic. Puts me square back in my Rocky Horror days. I had just moved out and discovered that I didn't have to be scared to be myself. If I wanted to sing "but he locked the door and gave me a disease" at the top of my lungs in a theater dressed in fishnets and a slip-I could.
I was free to be crazy, sexy and have fun!
5. Hang on St. Christopher-Tom Waits. My first few years of marriage. Hubby loved Waits and introduced me to it. This clip is from Big Time. Waits layers sound to the point of audio orgasm. Really.
6. Black Soul Choir - 16 Horsepower. The beginning of discovering a world of wonderful wild weird and amazing music. Kill the top 40 radio stations and explore!
7. Dear Mr. President - Pink. Makes me think of my brother. He is in the Army. He has sacrificed so much in the service of his country. His health, his first marriage. Takes me back to the days right before the beginning of the war. We said wait, they didn't listen.
8. Come as you are - Nirvana. This was the first Nirvana I ever heard. It marks the sea change between the 80's and 90's. When you think of music, there is before Nirvana and after Nirvana. This song says to me that its ok to be different.
9. I want it all - Queen. One of the last songs sung by Freddie Mercury. The power behind that voice gives me chills.
10. As Ugly as I seem - White Stripes. The guitar work and sweet simplicity of this song are very addictive. Beauty and simplicity will always go together after you listen to this.
11. Traveling Soldier - Dixie Chicks. I cry every time I hear this song. My brother gave his wife a cd with this song on it before he deployed the first time. My brother was supposed to be on a Black Hawk on his way home for leave. The helicopter was shot down. We didn't know for a day if he was alive or dead. This song takes me to that day, just sitting there not knowing what to do...
12. Don't Worry Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin. Schlocky I know, but this is a song that no matter how shitty my day is, makes me smile and remember simply to not worry, be happy.
13. Mad World - Gary Jules. I suffered from depression in high school. Lost, aching, painful depression. I used to say I felt like the red dot among the green dots-I didn't fit in. This song is the sound of my mind when I was depressed.
14. Sweet Dreams - Patsy Cline. Makes me think of my mother.
15. For the Longest Time-Billy Joel. Summer vacations when I was a kid. We would drive to Grandma's house. When this song came on the radio, mom, I and my brother would all sing along in harmony. Simple happiness comes with this song.
16. Yesterday - Beatles. Pure, simple, beautiful, soulful. Essential.
17. Ode to Joy - Beethoven. The sound of a ecstatic heart.
18. Fast Car - Tracy Chapman. I have had several copies of this album... I wore the tapes out listening to this. Another one that has a deep emotional reach.
19. Kathy's Song - Simon and Garfunkel. Beautiful ballad. Hard to decide between this, Neil Young Old Man and Bob Dylan Most of the time.
20. Every breath you take (acoustic)- Sting. Pure and clear. My 6th grade music teacher made us learn how to play this song on guitar. I remember her calling out chord changes. If only she had taught this version, maybe I would remember how to play it.

Ok, so there I am, laid bare to the "Innertubes". Comment, don't comment. I don't care. What I do care about is that you give some though to your own soundtrack. What would you pick and why?
Happiness guys. I will post a funky movie next time no worries ;)
C

Books and Wicked Awesome Intuition!

Hey guys

Sorry I haven't written in a few days. I went shopping today. Not a big deal I know. Sticking with the axiom that there is no book better than a used book, I picked up a couple of books I'm interested in reading. One of them is Wicked. I started it when I got home. Slow start but it now has me hooked. Interesting look into the life of the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz. So far it has the Wicked Witch and Glinda the good witch as college roomies. I know, sounds silly but the way its written its intriguing.

I'm trying to take my own advise. I have vowed this year to challenge myself mentally. So, I'm reading more classics and trying to really diversify my music collection. So far, so good ;) Picked up another book titled "the Rose and the Briar" about American Ballads. It's next after Wicked. I also got the Portrait of Dorian Gray, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and the Milagro Beanfield War. I like reading the books that inspired movies. Let me be clear. Im not talking about the book of the movie of the book. I'm talking about the book before Hollywood (in a lot of cases) dumbs it down. I think when I'm done with this lot of books, I will try to find a used copy of the Odyssey. I haven't read it since college, so I am looking forward to reading it again. There is a great used book store called Bookmans, but I think its more fun if you find it randomly in a thrift store. I like thinking the book has a past. Oh, I joined a website called bookcrossing.com. It's cool, after you read a book, you register it on the site and "release it to the wild". You leave it in a restaurant, on a table, in a store, on a park bench...you get the idea. It plays into my liking a book to have a past *smile*.

Going along with my own advise, I am also listening to my gut intuition. I don't know, its just strange gut feelings about stuff... and now you think that I think I'm psychic and a TOTAL WEIRDOOOO! Yeah, not so much haha! I think we are all better off listening to that little voice. There have been studies on premonition. There have been many cases where there was a disaster and the death toll was far lower than it should have been because people were late, felt sick and or just felt like they shouldn't go in that day. 9/11 has a lot of these stories. Google premonition and 9/11, it's pretty amazing.

Dont think badly of me. I am relatively normal, quiet and happy. Just remember, in the game of life, it's ALWAYS the quiet ones... *sly smile and a wink* (getting tired of colon and a parenthesis, aren't you??)

Goodnight, goodluck, and tell your loved ones you love them everyday.
and for God's sake, COMMENT already! I LIKE COMMENTS! It makes this less of an exersise in futility and more of a "contribution to the world"...
peace.
Christine

Magnolia and Aimee Mann- twofer tonight-You will LOVE this movie or ELSE!

Evening guys
Well, to top off my stellar week, I lost my temporary crown and thus, my mouth is sore. Thank god for Percocet is all I can say... haha.

So, did you watch the Oscars? I saw about half. I decided to go to the movies this afternoon. I went to see Taken. Good movie. As with many movies, you did have to suspend reality a bit in places but overall it had great pace and action without it getting boring.

While watching the lead in for a commercial during the Oscars, I heard a snip of a song by Aimee Man called Save Me. It is from a movie that is worth revisiting. It is called Magnolia.

I sure you have figured out by now that I like ensemble films. This wonderful film had so much to it that I cant possibly sum up everything in a couple of paragraphs. The director was PT Anderson. He takes his characters and weaves a story of interaction, connection and isolation and the walls we put up in our worlds to protect us from pain. Anderson spends small amounts of time with each set of characters but really develops them to the point that we are thoroughly invested in their lives and outcomes. The strength of the movie is the subtly. An expression. The tone the actors use when delivering a line and their appearance speak more to who they are as people than the words that they say.

Whether it be Frank TJ Mackey or Daniel Plainview, Anderson's characters are so disturbed by their own realizations of themselves and, in Mackey’s case, their past that they alienate those around them and themselves from the world. Mackey is so shut off from the world that he uses degrading women as a way of distancing himself from intimacy, which clearly pained him in his childhood. If we look at one of the more interesting, and astoundingly heartbreaking, relationships in the film (John C Reilly and Melora Walters) we see a couple that are so wounded by the world that they grasp at some form of happiness, even if that happiness would be more destructive than good.

The cast is rounded out by William H Macy, Julliane Moore, Tom Cruse, Philip Baker Hall, Philip Seymor Hoffman, Jason Robards, Alfred Molina and many more. It comes together to make not only a movie but a deep heart wrenching statement about ourselves, the damage we do to those we love, the mental scars left and finding a way through the pain to start healing.

You know that along with my love of a really good ensemble, I love a good soundtrack. This one is no exception. It is a beautifully written collection of songs by Aimee Mann. They are beautiful, touching and tragic.

I thought about soundtracks today. I wondered if you can have a crappy movie with a good soundtrack. Answer would be yes, I think so. BUT, can you have an excellent movie with a shit soundtrack...? Would this movie have been as powerful if it had ________(insert generic manufactured teen craptactular singer here)? Who knows.
All I can say is the music is a beautiful compliment to the movie and helps move the movie forward. Which is the goal of a good soundtrack. Its a bonus when it is completely listenable on it's own.


Alas my friends, the medication is finally kicking in so I think Im off to bed. Wish me luck at the dentists tomorrow. Yeeha. :(

OMG Why does the world STINK!

Yes, you should fear the rant. Really.

It has been a hard week. Ok, let's not sugar coat. It sucked great big hairy dog balls. How's that mental image coming?

Y-U-K

Hubby had to go out of town until next week. So, I decided to do something happy for me. Ive got a beer, a face mask on, bra off and Steve Earle in the cd player. Oh, and cheddar bunnies. Have you tried cheddar bunnies?? They are made by Annies and are the healthier alternative to cheezits. Yummy man, yummay!

Well, I decided since hubby was gone I would do some in depth cleaning. I needed a few things I was out of, namely dish and laundry soap. So, I swallowed my pride and bile and stopped at Walmart. I hate Walmart a lot, but there are a couple things that only they carry that I like. So, off I went.

Now, Walmart isn't redneck heaven, it comes in second to Harbor Freight (dont get me started on the humanity that goes in there). There is a lot of crazy fun people watching you can do in a Walmart. You can see everything at ol'Wally. The most interesting today was a young man intently scrutinizing cheese in the "got testosterone" tshirt and the emo kid that stopped in front of an endcap full of Kellogs corn flakes making excited "HUM! HUM!" sounds for about 20 seconds. The best one was the lady at the checkouts. I couldn't see her (she was short and I'm only 5'3" so there you go). All I could see was her hair. It was dyed Ronald McDonald red and was moused straight up. We are talking STRAIGHT-cartoon scared-straight. She was squawking loudly to the cashier about "make sure you get this" and so forth. Reminded me of Foghorn Leghorn, the big obnoxious cartoon rooster.
Free entertainment at wallyworld-too cool!

Unfortunately for me, there is another thing Wally is abundant in. Stinky smelly people. I walked through cloud after cloud while looking for my detergent. There should be a few rules for people to go out in public.

#1 BATHE. Whether its "old guy who hasn't bathed in a month" or "I'm so manly, I just worked out" or the dreaded 12 year old boy who just finished playing soccer. The 12 year old is the worst because at that age, their hormones are kicking into gear yet they don't realize that they should bathe more. eeeeyyuuuk. Bathing should be common sense right?? Hmm.

#2 BRUSH YOUR TEETH/USE GUM. "Oh, you had the garlic marinated chicken with onions for lunch?"...great. This is also the person who has no clue about personal space. I had a customer a few years ago who owned a restaurant. French food IE stinky cheeses. NO concept of personal space. He would look over my shoulder at the computer-we are talking his face 6 inches from mine. I'm sure he thought I had allergies cause I never breathed through my nose around him. Dentists tell us to floss for a reason. Food gets caught between teeth and ROTS. Heat rotting food at say 98.6 and oh god, gives me the heaves.

#3 NO BEANS, BROCCOLI or anything that gives you the farts. Its not funny or cute to "sow the field". If you have gas, go to the bathroom and let er rip! Don't toot a path down 3 aisles of the grocery store. Please? Fart clouds are GROSS!

#4 NO POLO or GRANDMA PERFUME. If I can tell where you have been in a store because of your Polo trail-you might be wearing TOO MUCH! Cologne and perfume are not substitutes for BATHING! One lady had on so much grandma perfume that you could taste it in the air. Now honestly, do you think I WANT to taste grandma perfume? Umm, yeah sure-I don't f*cking think so!

#5 IF YOUR KID TAKES A DUMP, FOR GOD'S SAKE CHANGE HIM! Babies poop and pee. I totally accept that. What kills me is the mom who says "oh my, junior just pooped" and CONTINUES TO SHOP FOR a 1/2 hour treating everyone in the vicinity to the dirty diaper smell. I don't want to try to pick out salad dressing while smelling your kid's dirty diaper. It's not good for the baby's skin to sit in sh*t for 20 minutes. Best part on this one-and yes, I experienced dirty diaper kid today too, was that Mom had the super jumbo pack of diapers in the cart.

#6 Cigarette breath. Not pleasant. VERY not enjoyable. Cigarette smoke permeate the lining of the lungs. Yes, it can cause cancer, but the stale ciggy smell can and does come up from the lungs while you breathe. So, mints help but they don't fix the bad breath. You know what the cure is, I don't have to say it. "Oh, you don't know, you mean non smoker you!" Oh yeah? I smoked for 17 years. I know what I'm talking about from the viewpoint of the smeller and the smelly. Consider quitting, it's mind over matter. Believe me, being able to breathe MATTERS.

Ok, I think I have chewed your ear enough tonight. If you ask nicely I might chew on it some more...rawr.
Paz a todos (peace to all)
C

In Arizona, Colorado or Oregon? You have to go to this store!

Howdy hi and hello
Yeah, I'm back. Ive been contemplating what to talk about. I have told you about music and movies, I've gone emo, nutty, crazy and so forth.
I think it might be time for a little naughty.

Yeah you dirty bugger, I said naughty.

Now. There are certain things that are part of the human condition. The need for companionship and love are right up on top. They segue well with another "need". Hehe, yes-the urge to merge.

Sex is a billion dollar industry. There are many stores that cater to every kink that floats your boat. Things that buzz, hum, wiggle, inflate, vibrate...you get the picture. Now, if the thought of going into one of "those" places makes you turn redder than a cherry (yes, if you are counting that was a pun) I have the shop for you.

Fascinations is a chain of "toy" stores for grownups in Arizona, Colorado or Portland, Oregon. They are clean, well lit and staffed by friendly and knowledgeable sales people. OK, I'm a grown up in touch with my wants and needs and I have been in a couple of adult shops. Im married after all, so sex has come up every once in a while (that's two-two puns, mwha haha). When most people think of an adult store, they think dirty, perverts jackin off in corners, hookers out back doing $10 BJ's.
Not the case with this little corner of kinkville ;)

Hubby and I went in a couple weeks ago to replace a particular item. I had an idea of what I wanted but didn't know where to look. The sales person took us right to a giant wall of items in all shapes, colors sizes and textures. I told him what I wanted and he got it and started to tell me about some of its functions-even taking it out of the package to demonstrate the controls. There was no blushing, no shyness, no embarrassment. He was very matter of fact and considerate. He then suggested a lube and cleaner that would work well with the item. As we talked to him, I looked around. I saw a lesbian couple who were being helped by another sales person. She was telling them about Pyrex dildos. There were several other couples looking at vibrating items and cockrings. It reminded me of a dept store, but for fun stuff!

I know, you are calling foul on me. I am supposed to be upfront about things. After all, we are trying to be the change ya know...?! Vibrators are fun and can enhance sex. Making a great thing even greater-I'm all for it!

So, I'm recommending Fascinations as a stop you must make if you ever visit AZ, CO or OR!
You want a vib, lube, the "Kong" dong, handcuffs, penis shaped pasta, chocolate flavored body oil, giant blowup sheep and MORE, they have it AND service with a smile to boot! Oh, and did I mention they do HOME PARTIES!! Oh Boy Oh Boy!

Here is a link for them http://www.fascinations.net
Let the games begin!

A treat for Valentines Day-a Black Comedy!

Well, good morning! Well, its morning for me.

I was checking out the traffic here yesterday. Seems the only person interested in love besides me is the guy from Saudi looking for "Big Black Booty". YIIIIIKERS. HAHA! Well, I guess loving big black booty is still love, so um, power to ya dude!

Let's see, yesterday I gave you the meaning of love, at least how I define it. Now, on a day filled with candy, hearts, pink and red everything and sloppy sentiments, I think we need a cure, or at least something to cut the saccharine-ness of today. What should I rot your mind with today...? Oh! I know!! You're movie today is Heathers, staring Christian Slater and Winona Ryder.

It starts with Veronica compromising who she is to be one of the "Heathers" the most popular group in school. She tries to fit in while hating them. While taking a lunchtime survey, she meets Jason Dean, a dark rebel. They start a whirlwind romance that includes the pair murdering several of their classmates. They cover the murders by making them look like suicides. The murders include death by Drano and a faked gay tryst between the star football players. Of course, hijinks ensue! Some of my favorite lines from this movie
"my teenage angst bullshit has a body count" "Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?" "I have to motor if I want to make the funeral" and "corn nuts!"
Do you remember the video for "Smells like Teen Spirit"? The gym? That was taken from the climatic scene in Heathers where JD tries to blow up the school gym during assembly.

This movie is Slater at his "Nicholson/Rebel Without a Cause" best and Ryder fresh from Beetlejuice and well, just "Very".

I know, its from 1988. Now stop the "EWWW 80's!" This movie rocked. So grab your remote, your sweetie and some corn nuts and watch Heathers.

Beeee Gooooood!
C

Oh, IMDB link http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097493/

What is Love, really?!?

Ah, the question for the ages. Ranks right up there with "What is the meaning of life". I thought this was a good topic for Valentine's eve.

Everyone KNOWS what love is right? Can you put it into words? I'm talking about the real deal guys, not "Oh I love __________, he's so HOT". To me, love is having the deepest connection to another person possible-when you try to imagine your life without them, you cant. Love like this feels like a part of you-natural and necessary, like breathing. You look forward to every moment you spend with them. There is nothing so bad that they can do to ever make you want to be without them.

I love my husband. He is my friend, my lover, my partner, my companion, my rock. He tucks me into bed at night and holds my hand as we fall asleep. He looks at me in the morning-hair in every direction, bad breath and no makeup and the first thing he says is that I'm beautiful.

I was very very sick a few years ago. I was hospitalized for 3 weeks. I had a tube in my throat and therefore, I could not make a sound. There were several procedures they had to do to me that will remain nameless because even I don't want to think about the specifics. As I silently screamed during them, he looked into my eyes and held my hand. No one should ever have to see someone they love go through that, but he stayed with me.

I remember when we met. It was like running into an old friend, like we knew each other instinctively. There was never any of the awkward "does he like me or does he LIKE me" between us. As cheesy and cliched as it sounds, we just KNEW. There is a quote from a popular book that describes love like gravity, you come together because there is no other way to be.

Hubby and I only knew each other 6 weeks before getting engaged. I wondered why it took him so long to ask. He told me years later that he wanted to ask me 3 weeks before he did. 15 years later and we are still happily together.

So, that is love to me.

When we got married, my aunt made us a cross stitch picture. It was of the famous "Love is Patient, Love is Kind" poem. It is taken from a Bible verse, 1 Corr, chapter 13, verses 4-8. It hags on our bedroom wall.
This is it...

"Love is patient, Love is kind,
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud, It is not rude,
It is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in wrong,
but rejoices in the right.

Love always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.

Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends".

Ok, wipe your eyes, its ok :)
Tomorrow, I will give you a nice dark romantic comedy to watch with your sweetheart.
Peace
C

OMG! You HAVE to listen to this band!!

Hey guys! Welcome back to my strange little corner of cyberspace. It's cold tonight-the f*cking weather guy said strong possibility of snow. Snow-here-in Tucson. F*ck. No, Im not scared to say fuck, but Im trying to watch my mouth (fingers) hehe.

So Im sitting here in a shawl a friend made me for christmas. I had to go put socks on with my super awesome bunny slippers and my toes are STILL cold! At work, I had to pull out my little desktop heater. My fingers get bone cold easily and cold fingers combined with being a graphic artist...as you can imagine they dont go together too well. I will have this project from hell done tomorrow OH THANK GOD! 2 1/2 weeks of designing this program, yeah, Im a bit toasted. At least next year I will have all my working files to build on. This year no such luck. I had to pull the majority from pdf. Not hard but a pain in the arse just the same.

So, to comfort myself, I went looking for a band. This band was featured in a movie I recommended a week or so ago, Wristcutters. The band is called Gogol Bordello. Now, before I tell you a little bit about them, you have to remember my tastes can run a little odd... I love music that has a certain lust for life to it. I want fun, depth and joy. I want to hear how much the muscians loves what they do. Nothing sucks worse than a band that gets famous and mails it in (sorry but Metallica, are you listening? Load, Reload, Wide Load...come on guys!)

So, Gogol Bordello is my band to listen to tonight. They describe themselves as gypsy punk or gypsy folk. This music is so much fun to listen to-you really will not be able to sit still. It is a multicultural band of 8 people. Instruments include cymbals, accordian, saxaphone, fiddle, bass drum and um, fire buckets along with the more normal drums, guitar and bass. Their front man, Eugene Hütz, is a survivor of the Chernobyl disaster. His family relocated to New York and in 1999, he formed the band that would become Gogol Bordello. I have the album pictured above "Gypsy Punks: Underdog World Strike". I went to Borders yesterday to get their latest release, Super Taranta! The song link is from the Gypsy Punks album and is called "Start wearing purple". Oh yes, I think I might need some purple RIGHT NOW! "Super Taranta" is a terrific album the whole way through. Songs of note are Ultimate, Wonderlust King and Super Taranta!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_81l4DXlwM

I looked up their website www.gogolbordello.com to see if they were touring soon. No dates as of yet but I discovered they were in Tucson last august at a local venue, the Rialto Theater. Man, I was bummed. I heard from a friend that their live shows are an experience not to be missed. So, Im not letting a damn thing stop me next time they come-I WILL see them live!

If you are tired and bored to death by Rhianna, Chris Brown, Fergie and their ilk, give GB a listen. Top 40 can kiss my butt!

On a sad note, I wanted to mention that Orlando "Cachaito" Lopez, the acclaimed bassist of Cuba's legendary Buena Vista Social Club, passed away today. He was 76. For Señor Lopes, resto en la paz señor, usted será echado de menos. Gracias por la musica. Vaya con Dios.

Sleep well to all on this side of the pond, and good morning to everyone on the OTHER side of the pond.
Paz a todos!
C

Ready for your friday movie?? Great Tunes on this one too-Break out the Netflix!

Hey there again
I've noticed a few new blips on the feedjit from around the globe so welcome to my little corner of the blogosphere.

I saw a reader from Iraq the other day and it got me thinking. We hear about all these far off places in the news, paper, internet and such. We see the pictures and hear the words, but sometimes I dont think we understand something. Those bombings in Gaza, Prince Charles, Jack Nicholson, crying babies in Africa...they all have something in common. Its profound but simple. We are all on same planet, all breathe the same air and feel the same feelings. I read somewhere that with every breath you take, you breathe in 50,000 molecules of air that Leonardo da Vinci breathed. Wow, you-I-your neighbor breathe the same air as da Vinci. It gave me a very profound sense of being connected to people and history.

I know, you are waiting for me to wax philosopical for a few minutes before you start yelling "GET TO THE POINT!" Well, the point is tonight's movie, Night on Earth.

Night on Earth came out in 1991. It is the story of one moment on Earth in 5 taxi cabs in 5 different cities, LA, Rome, Paris, New York and Helsinki. It has an amazing ensemble cast including Gina Rowlands, Wynona Ryder, Rosy Perez, Armin Mueller Stahl and Roberto Benigni. It was directed by Jim Jarmusch.

The stories include
LA-A talent agent finds the perfect person for a part in a movie in her cab driver. The driver is a young girl happy driving a cab and who aspires to be a mechanic. The agent tries to get the driver to audition but she is reluctant to give up her happy life for fame.
Rome-My favorite story of the 5. The taxi driver takes the fare of a priest. As he drives the priest, the driver decides to confess to the priest. He tells a tale so shocking that the priest dies from a heart attack.
New York- An immigrant cab driver is continually lost in a city and culture he doesn't understand.
Paris - A blind girl takes a ride with a cab driver from the Ivory Coast and they talk about life and blindness.
Helsinki - an industrial worker gets laid off and he and his compatriots discuss the bleakness and unfairness of love and life and death.

One of the true gems of this movie is the soundtrack. It is by Tom Waits. Tom is kind of an aquired taste, but he is just...so good its really hard to describe. He has a gift for layering sound and using obscure instrumentation. Over his career he has spanned blues to avante garde. He is a musician's musician and worthy in every sense of the name Troubadour. I highly recommend giving Waits a listen. The first time you might sit there and say "WTF is that"! That's ok, I definately had my wtf moment the first time. But I gave it another listen and it really grows on you. This soundtrack is a good introduction to Tom Waits. I mean it, listen a couple times, especially "Back in the Good old World". Tom rarely tours and tickets go in minutes, but oh so worth it.

So there you have it, tunes and a movie all in one neat package! Feel free to comment on any of the movies and music I have talked about. Im feeling like Rocketman-its lonely out here in cyberspace! Keep sane, be good and wear your seatbelt!
later gaters!
C

Where is Bill Hicks when I need him to kick some butt?

You are reading the title and going "Oh shit". Naaa, just really weary of badly behaved people tonight. A coworker-and I use the word "work" (solitare all day) loosly, has been a burr in my ass for the last two weeks. He and his buddy (client) have been watching over my shoulder (micromanaging me) every day as I design a program for a local event. I am truly hoping tomorrow they leave me in peace so I can put the bastard job to bed.

So, ok. I guess I am in a bit of a mood. Tonight, I'm in a Bill Hicks mood. I found a cd at Bookmans (www.bookmans.com) called "Bill Hicks, the Flying Saucer Tour, vol 1". It is a concert recording of him in Pennsylvania in 1991. The audience was awful...they didnt get it all all. It gives true meaning to "flying saucer tour"-basically Bill was seen in small hick towns, the same places that you hear about people seeing flying saucers. God, I can tell Im tired, I cant even speel ;)

Ok, so if you are sitting there asking "Who is Bill Hicks" you are making me sad. Bill was an amazing comedian from Texas. I cant begin to summarize the life and greatness of Bill. The best way to share Bill is via the website his family set up for him, www.billhicks.com. Read the bio, really. Then, go get Relentless.

His career breakthrough was cut short in 1994 when died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 32. He made no appologies about drugs, sex, politics...pretty much name it. He called it the "Comedy of Hate, join me". He joked about LA (Hell-A) falling into the ocean after the "big one" leaving a beautiful oceanfront property called "Arizona Bay".

Ok, so I admit, Im not a great novelist like Steven King (Sheeesh man, chill out on Steph Meyer already. Just because you havent written anything relevant in the last 20 years is no reason to pick on someone for being sucessful-jelousy is ugly man, just ugly) oh, was I ranting?? Well, my POINT and yes there is one,(beside the fact that I cant summarize for shit) is to check out Bill Hicks.
Bill, you left us way too early and you are sincerely missed. RIP.

As far as YOU-MR or MS Reader, your assignment is to look up Bill Hicks and listen to him. Let me know what you think. You know me, I will continue to rant to myself and cyberspace, even if you dont read me or comment. It is my catharsis, after all ;)
Peace, and tommorrow, I will assign another movie! I promise, its a good and obscure movie and you will love it. Why, because I told you to. My blog, my talking to myself, my rules!!

Heya! Got some music to groove too? Try this!

Hey guys
I know, it's been a couple days. I dont like to blog if Im not inspired, it just comes off as incipid drivel. But tonight, ahh inspiration strikes. Driving home from work tonight... You guys remember, I like to roll the windows down and enjoy the desert as the sun goes down. Well, the stereo hubby got for me for Christmas has an ipod jack. So, he let me have his ipod as well so I could listen to lots of music I like.

Im driving home along the river just paying attention to the sights and smells of the desert. It was amazing. I could smell the clean earthy smell of the dirt, the sweet musky mesquite burning in a fireplace. I could smell the fantastic bbq place near my work. The owner is really cool and he smokes all the meats onsite. He had the smoker on and the smell just travels... As I crossed the Rillito river bridge, I caught the scent of honeysuckle that was profusely blooming along the river walk trail. During this, the most perfect music was playing on the ipod. I hadn't heard the album in a long time but it just blew me away. It was Pink Floyd, Animals.

Ah, Floyd. Floyd while driving home with the vast expanse of the desert around me. It was almost like hearing the earth breathe.

Hearing this album made me go and get another of my favorite Floyd albums. I got my cd player and went out into my backyard to watch the mountains turn gold then red as the sun set.

Delicate Sound of Thunder. You know this one, it had the lightbulb suit on the cover. This album was my first exposure to Floyd. I know I know, but I had a very conservative upbringing. For god's sake, I missed Kiss ENTIRELY!! My mother didnt allow THAT kind of music in the house. But I digress and thank GOD I escaped to be the little sicko you all know, read and love ;)

The first song that sticks in my memory of Floyd is "Learning to Fly". I was in high school and I had such a crush on my manager. He drove a Camaro and I didn't even hold that against him ;) He was big into Floyd. We used to work close saturdays together. That meant Floyd blasted from the time we locked the doors at 11pm to the time we left at 2:30am. I remember Learning to Fly. It made a distinct memory of happiness during a time that I didnt have a lot of happy in my life...

So tonight I remembered those nights at McDonalds, listening to Floyd and being desparately in love with my manager. I sat in the cool of the evening, smelling the orange and lemon tree and getting lost in the music. Would have been the perfect moment to smoke a joint, except for the fact that I never have smoked pot... Besides, I can't smoke at all anymore. It's not just the "smoking is bad" thing. It's the weak lungs - smoking can kill me - thing.

Oh well, at least I have my cool evening, my Floyd, my memories and the smell of honeysuckle.

Twofer tonight! Music to hear AND a Movie you have to see!

So, I haven't blogged in a couple days, sorry! But I'm going to make it up to you right now.

Well which first, movie or music? Let's go music shall we? Tonight, I am recommending Rainer Ptacek.
This man was an amazing singer, songwriter and guitarist. Was, yes that is correct. Rainer passed away from a brain tumor in 1997. Here is some video of him on youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFNsbNAB5zw&feature=related
and info about him on wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainer_Ptacek

He was highly influential for many artists, such as Robert Plant, Emmylou Harris, Jimmy Page and Billy Gibbons. He had a beautiful, pure sound. Very good music to sit back and chill to. The guitar work is so...wow. You have to hear it to really hear what I mean.

When he got sick, he had no health insurance. So, to try to help with the medical bills, a group of friends and admirers came together to make a benefil album. This is the album I am listening to tonight. It is called The Inner Flame. It is a compelation of Rainer's songs perfomed by himself and other artists. It is a beautiful tribute to a man who left a big hole in the world of music. I dont know how available the album is, but I was able to find it on amazon
http://www.amazon.com/Inner-Flame-Rainer-Ptacek-Tribute/dp/B000002JD0/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1232855713&sr=1-2

You will not regret this album. It is worth the time and effort to aquire it.

Now, for your movie...Those with Comcast are in for a wonderful black comedy. Go to the OnDemand-free movies and look up Wristcutters, a Love Story.
It's based on Etgar Keret's short story "Kneller's Happy Campers". It stars Patrick Fugit and Shannyn Sossamon.

Zia (Patrick Fugit), distraught over breaking up with his girlfriend, decides to end it all. Unfortunately, he discovers there is no real ending, only a run-down afterlife that is strikingly similar to his old one, just a bit worse. Discovering that his ex-girlfriend has also “offed” herself , he sets out on a road trip, with his Russian rocker friend, to find her. Their journey takes them through an absurd purgatory where they discover that being dead doesn’t mean you have to stop living.

This movie did well at Sundance in 2006. I remember seeing it listed on fandango. I thought the concept life after death being just like life but a little worse was interesting. I tried to see it in a theater, but like with too many indie films, it was in one theater for all of twenty minutes, so I didnt get to go. I like dark comedies so I was so happy to see this one come up on OnDemand. If you enjoyed Sweeny Todd, Nightmare before Christmas and Edward Scissorhands, you will like this one! It has a website www.wristcutters.com and a here is a link for imdb
http://imdb.com/title/tt0477139/

Enjoy and let me know if you like my recommendations! If not, I'm just sitting here talking to myself in cyberspace....
C

Movies you have to see: Pan's Labyrinth

Ok guys, we have finally sworn in the new president. Let's let him get settled. In the mean, it's time for another movie recommendation. I can recommend all sorts of movies, but I'm trying to talk about ones that you might not have seen, but should. Today, I thought, do we need a "chick flick" or something with a bit more meat to it. I decided it's a meat day. I found a very good review on www.sledgeweb.com. Rather than me butchering the synopsis, I'm going to borrow a bit from it. :)

In 2006, movie came out called Pan's Labryinth. It was critically acclaimed, but not a lot of people saw it. Labyrinth was written and directed by Guillermo del Toro. This film won three Academy Awards: Best Cinematography, Best Art Direction, and Best Makeup. Don't let that lead you to believe this is just an f/x movie though, at the heart of Pan's Labyrinth is a beautifully tragic story about a little girl, Ofelia, who escapes the disturbing world around her into a fantasy whose frightening characters pale in comparison to her real world demons.

Labyrinth is like a much darker, grown up version of Narnia. It's been described as a fairy tale for adults. We tend to think of fairy tales today as nice bedtime children's stories, but at their root, fairy tales have always been about our fears. Del Toro expertly contrasts the fears we face in our real world, versus the fears Ofelia faces in her fantasy reality. In the end, Labyrinth contrasts innocence with evil, and asserts that while evil may temporarily overcome innocence, in the end, it is innocence itself that destroys evil.

The harshness of the subject matter is balanced by the beautiful cinematography, which lends a sublime dreamlike quality to the story. Indeed, the entire art direction of the movie is near perfect. Labyrinth is one of those rare accomplishments that becomes more than just a film, it is a piece of art - skillfully stitched together and succeeding on several levels. It stands as a masterpiece of imagination and creativity, and begs the viewer to move around it in order to view it's construction from different perspectives (as any good piece of art does).

In addition to the themes and psychology of fantasy, reality, and fear, Pan's Labyrinth is also deeply involved in examining human relationships. Ofelia is dragged into a terrifying situation when her pregnant, and sickly, mother marries a Spanish Captain (a personification of evil) out of necessity. Forced to live together, Ofelia struggles to resolve her inner emotional conflict between the step-father she despises, the mother she loves, and the unborn brother she comforts by speaking stories to. Her struggle to resolve the relationships around her lead Ofelia into a fantasy world, full of disturbing characters and very real danger. There, she learns that she is a princess from an underground kingdom, who's soul has been lost for ages. In order to reclaim her throne, she must overcome three challenges submitted to her by an aged faun in order to prove her soul is still intact. Is this fantasy world real? Or, is it a protective creation of her psyche? Del Toro leaves this question to be resolved individually by the viewer.

There was only one scene that I found to be truly disturbing but, in this case, the violence is necessary to demonstrate the evil and harsh real world situation in which Ofelia finds herself. In addition to the violence, the fantasy realm deals with some very disturbing creatures and situations that you may find scary. This is not a film to watch with small kids. The movie is in Spanish, and subtitled in English. It is rated R. It

If you like fantasy, and like films that actually have a good story at their core, I highly recommend Pan's Labyrinth. Check it out, and let me know what you think
C

The Big Fat Lie

This picture is the reality of "Ana" This girl died due to complications from Anorexia.

I recently became friends with a young woman on facebook. Not unusual I know. The reason I decided to be friends with her might be.

One of my friends tagged me to do a "25 random things about you" list. I did and tagged 25 people-well, 19 as that is all I have in my friends ;) I was looking at a few other lists that tagged some of the people I had and came across this girl's "50 things about me" list. I read about how she hated her body, her shape, her size...how she was so fat. I think she weighs all of 110 pounds. I saw a pretty girl, she saw FAT and UGLY. She is 17. I thought about my self image and self esteem at her age. I felt awkward and shy. I was smart and pretty, just very shy with the same low self esteem and body image issues as my new friend. I am 5'3" and at that time I was a size 14. I was healthy-not a stick but not "fat".

My mother has had a lifelong weight and self esteem battle. My entire life she has been on a diet. I was raised on diet soda and "low fat" because oh dear god you don't want to be FAT! Well, I'm now 37. I am a overweight person. Man, that is a hard line to type. I am and I admit it. My mother now sends me all sorts of diet this and loose weight now that, recipes from spark people, gift subscriptions to weight watchers magazine and articles on how "fat people can't_________. Yeah, that's right, it is a fill-in the blank. Because if you can think it, she has sent it to me. She makes statements like "well, when you loose weight you will be happy" I am a happy contented person but all she sees is fat. Since she con notates fat with unhappiness, she assigns that unhappiness to me.

And why? Why the hysteria at the mere word FAT? I have my own theories which I will share but first, I did a little googly research before starting this entry tonight. I started with one word. Anorexia. I saw stories and pictures of dead and dying people who look like they were right out of the concentration camps. The difference is that these poor souls have starved themselves. The stories are heartbreaking, lives just starting being ended by this quest for skinny.

But alas, the Internet can shock more. When I did the anorexia search, I found other sites. Sites about life with "Ana" and "Mia". Ana and Mia are Anorexia and Bulimia. These sites offer weight loss support and encouragement for anorexics and bulimics. It was a how to for eating disorders. Hints on how to hide your disease, how to pretend to eat, how to work through the hunger...on and on. Other sites I saw were nofatchicks.com which made fun of fat girls including pictures. Sad to say, several of the people they labeled fat were not. Oh, don't forget the pictures of "happy" fat guys emblazoned with "I BEAT ANOREXIA" tshirts.

Which brings me back to why. Why is fat a dirty word? My thoughts on the whole thing, well...
1. Fashion magazines and clothing designers are designing for women with the body of a 8 year old boy. I read somewhere that the average size of the American woman is a size 14. When will the fashion industry wake up to reality. Real women generally are not a size 0-2. Real women have curves and breasts and butts. Real women eat carbs. A woman who wears a size 0-2 has no boobs let alone a cleavage. Guys, you like to motorboat?? You won't get far with one of these women. The fashion industry makes us feel inadequate and fat - no matter if you are never going to be 5'10" and 100 pounds.

2. The diet industry is a multi billion dollar business. What do you think would happen to their pills and books and programs if they actually worked? What if their products really "cured" obesity? Bye bye business. It is their job along with the fashion industry to make you hate yourself and not be able to accept yourself. If you look in the mirror and say "god I hate the way I look" and then slimquick, or Jenny Craig, or Alli commercial comes on the TV... That if you take brand X, you will loose weight and your life will be perfect! News flash, life isn't perfect, no matter what pill or program or book you buy. My mother's favorite magazine-Woman's World- has a new diet every week. I mentioned this to her. She said "no they don't". I let it drop but she later came to me and said that she had gone through 2 years of the magazine (yeah, she keeps them) and that I was right. Not only did every one of the 104 magazines have a diet but that they seemed to rotate. Several of the diets pop up over and over. So, this magazine has a stake in you feeling fat. If you are fat and want to diet -"Here's the magic secret", their magazine.

I am fat. Their are things about my body that I do not like. If you have read my blog in the past, you know that I can be blunt but that I don't lie. Diets are a lie. There is no magic bullet or pill to loose weight. I am working on my weight but I am doing it for the right reasons. I want to be healthier. I know that loosing weight is a journey. It took time to gain, it will take time to loose. It is about making good choices. Do you buy the Super chunky hungry man stew or do you make chili at home with turkey and barley? Do you go for the super size coke and fries with your double quarter pounder or do you get a grilled chicken sandwich plain and eat only the meat and give the bun to the pigeons? Well, that's not enough to eat you say? Get the super large ice tea and a fruit and walnut salad. Go to Wing Stop or Subway?

Great book out now called "Eat This Not That". It is a great help for people of all sizes trying to make better eating choices.

It all comes down to you. You have to love you. You can still not like your stomach but if you don't love yourself then how do you expect anyone else to see how great you really are? I'm fat but I really, really do love myself :) Don't ever forget to love YOU too!!

Otto Titzling-the Man, the Legend-the MYTH!

Good evening all! I sit here tonight with you, scared. I have to have oral sugery tomorrow morning. They are going to put me under with a general. I have had surgery twice. More deep down frightening than anything the Saw movies can dish out. So, since I am trying very hard to distract myself from the fact that my tooth hurts and I am thirsty (no water or food for 8 hours before...) I am going to talk about something near and dear. Just feels like a big weight I have to get off my chest. Yes, for those keeping score, that was a pun. sheesh-I am TRYING to cheer myself up for cryin out loud!

Soo, get into the time machine folks, back to ancient history. Hair Metal ruled and men wore just as much if not more makeup and hairspray as women. 1990, 1989...1988 Ah, 1988. Music sucked, it was all processed cheese. Movies wern't as bad. 1988 brought us one the greatest chick flicks of all time. Beaches. Men ovulate at the mere mention of this movie... Two girls meet, become friends, grow up, one gets famous, one becomes a lawyer and dies. There it is, in a nutshell. You have to have boobs to understand why women have to watch Beaches any time it comes on tv.

Ah come on, gimme a break. If you read my blog you know I am the MISTRESS of tangents. But this one has a point. Bette Midler sings a song in the movie called Otto Titzling. It's a song about the origins of the bra or "over the shoulder boulder holder" HOORAY!

Well, it basically says Otto Titzling invented the bra after watching a big boobed opera singer fall over from the weight of her breasts. He invented the "Titsling". Which was stolen by "none other than the very worst of the French Patent theives, Phillipe D. Brassiere" Which is why its called a brassiere and not a titsling.

Only problem, it's a crock of doodie. Here is the article from Snopes

http://www.snopes.com/business/origins/bra.asp

Apparantly the first bras were invented in the mid 1860's but corseting had been around for several centuries. The Greeks even had a type of chest binding.

So my dear friends, if I die tomorrow (Im melodramatic and hormonal, so sue me!) know I loved making you laugh. I hope you chase your dreams, pass along random kindness to strangers and have a meaningful, fulfilling life.

I leave you with this, a couple stanzas from "Otto Titsling"

"...Oh, my god! There she blows!
Aerodynamically this girl was a mess.
Otto eyeballed the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds,
and he suddenly felt the fire of inspiration
flood his soul. He knew what he had to do!
He ran back to his workshop
where he futzed and futzed and futzed.

For Otto Titsling had found his quest:
to lift and mold the female breast;
to point the small ones to the sky;
to keep the big ones high and dry!

Every night he'd sweat and snort
searching for the right support.
He tried some string and paper clips.
Hey! He even tried his own two lips!..."

and of course, a link for youtube! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqxWhBZXF8Q

Movies you have to see - Elizabethtown

I have decided to start something on my blog about movies and music. Some you might have seen or heard, some not. Don't groan at me-my blog my rules :P

I saw a movie a few years ago called Elizabethtown. It stars Orlando Bloom and Kristen Dunst. I think it was in and out of the theaters in a blink. Sad thing too, it is so well done and a wonderful movie. It is very subtle, but the power of the message is in that subtly.

The guy screws up in a massive, billion dollar way, is fired from his job, goes home planning to kill himself. He is attempting to carry out the plan when he gets the call that his father died. He then has to go to his father's hometown in Elizabethtown, Kentucky to make final arrangements, planning to commit suicide when he gets home. On the plane to Kentucky, he meets a stewardess who talks to him the whole way there. She leaves him in Kentucky with directions to the town and her phone number.

As the movie goes along, he has to deal with his father's extended family. He doesn't know that the entire town knew and loved his father. He starts to get to know the family. As he learns about them, he learns about the father he didnt know. When he is leaving Kentucky with his father's ashes, the stewardess (now friend) gives him a large extensive map complete with music. He is to follow the map and listen to the music as he drives cross country. The journey helps him learn about the wonder of living and the journey of life. He figures out that there is more that defines him than a catastrophic failure. The trip is a symbolic begining of a new life, brought by the ending of another life.

I know, I know, I'm making a butchery of the synopsis, sorry 'bout that. I hope however sucky my writeup, you will take the time to see this movie.

This movie has an INCREDIBLE SOUNDTRACK!! I have said before, a movie soundtrack can be a terrific way to discover new music. This one is very very worth listening to and purchasing!

Im a big believer in the fact that music can strongly influence a life. I have heard this refered to as "the soundtrack of life". Music that touches you becomes part of your soul. You carry it with you. You know what I mean, that familar song comes on the radio, you smile and think about the past. What you were doing when you first heard the song. Me for example... "Careless Whisper" by Wham-Seventh grade, riding the bus home from a vollyball game versus Pearce, AZ. This song came on and the whole bus full sang along. The first time I heard Nirvana-Musicland in the Tucson Mall. "Come as you are" was playing as I walked in. I went straight to the counter and bought it. "I hate myself for loving you" by Joan Jett-wild high school party. Speaking of wild, the entire "Hysteria" album by Def Leppard. Well, I don't think I need to really speak about it. I was doing to this album what EVERYONE did to this album. Oh man, I was a bad bad girl that year LOL!

I guess the gist of the whole thing is this. Get your Netflix or Blockbuster or just go buy the darn thing but watch this movie. The soundtrack is fantastic, so get that too.

Im thinking next time to talk about Otto Titzling and the creation of the Bra. In any case, I am going to recommend a movie or music every week. I hope that you will let me know what you think, and if you have music or a movie to share with me and my 3 readers, bring it on!

Are you a grape or a watermelon?

Ah yes, and so we've come to it. You have been waiting for me to be in a better mood. Well, I am finally in the mood to discuss-AWESOME BOOBAGE.

As I mentioned previously, I joined a group on facebook called HOORAY for BIG BOOBIES. Started by a woman with an-ahem-ample bosom. If you have read my blog before you might have started to get to know my way of thinking. I might be vulgar, gross and blunt-but I am always upfront and honest.

So, honest. Hmm. I have big boobs. Really big boobs. I wear a 42 DDD bra. Now, lets dissect that a bit. The measure of a bra takes two things into account. This is the part to pay attention to guys (filthy buggers, love you too!) The number is the measurement (inches) around the woman's chest. That would be under the breast, against the ribcage, and around the torso. Now, the measure that the guys wonder about. You hear things like "did she have grapes or big melons" or the inevitable "anything bigger than a handful is a waste". WELL, those statements pertain to cup size. That would be the letters. They start at AA and most bras go up to DDD. You think it stops there? Oh contraire, mon petites, specialty stores go up to N and higher. Did you see Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo? The scene in the whorehouse with Neil Patrick Harris? That is an N. BTW, that scene, one of the funniest, jaw dropping lines "Im gonna rock out with my c*ck out and you're gonna jam out with your clam out, it's gonna be magical". LOVE NPH!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LskZpU-zjM0
It's another one that is exponentally funnier after a shot of tequilla.

But again, I ramble. The combination is a woman's bra size. I read somewhere that 85% of women wear the wrong size bra. Amazing. Boobs grow and shrink depending on weigh gain or loss, pregnancy, breast feeding, augmentation, reduction...the list goes on and on. I have been an F, but I am down (ha!) to a DDD. I am only 5'3". Even when I was thinner I had big breasts. Yeah heredity. Short and boobtastic, that's me.

Im reading a book called The Erotic Tounge. No, its not an instruction manual for cunnilingus. It is a lexicon of slang, euphemismn, inuendo and quaint terms for sex, sex acts, body parts, obscenity and dirty talkin'. Think of how many words you know for penis. How many can you name? How many terms for breasts? Where did the term sexual intercourse come from? This book has been interesting, funny and an eye opener.

And thus, I end this post about big un's with a poem
-Ode to Those Four-Letter Words
A woman has bosoms, a bust, or a breast,
Those lily-white swellings that bulge 'neath her vest
They are towers of ivory, sheaves of new wheat,
In a moment of passion, ripe apples to eat.
You may speak of her nipples as small rings of fire
But by Rabelais' beard, she'll throw fifteen fits
If you speak of them roundly as good honest tits.

I hit the quadrafecta! PMS is not just for color matching anymore

The past week I have been so depressed. Just not feeling comfortable in my skin.

I have kind of a routine before bed. Take off my clothes and put on a tank top and pj bottoms. I remove my mascara and wash my face. Then I brush out my hair then floss and brush my teeth. Listerine and some carmex on my lips. Lastly I put my favorite lotion - Bath and Body Works Sensual Amber - set the alarm and climb into bed. As I said, I have been depressed. Last night I was laying in bed close to tears. My hubby came in and could see I was upset. When he asked me what was wrong, I tearfully declared that I was feeling old, ugly, fat and unattractive. He looked at me wide eyed and busted out laughing. After I smacked him he said he had just been thinking how beautiful I was. Then, it dawned on me. WHY I've been depressed. Yep, you guessed it, hormones or as many love to say-pms. I should have realized the reason for the depression but sometimes when you're in the thick of "oh woe is me" you loose perspective.

I guess a lot of women suffer from this but I don't know how many of them are honest about it, with themselves or others. I never used to have the mood swings like this, but as I have gotten older (OH GAWD IM OOOOOLLLLDDD! AAAAACK!) it has been more pronounced. Hubby knows that if I am weepy and start begging him to tell me he loves me, I'm pmsing. Here is a lesson for the few men who are still reading after the mention of GIRL STUFF (good man, hat's off to you brave soul). Remember this, no matter what you do, where you go or who you do in life. NEVER and I really mean NEVER ask a woman who is grouchy or weepy if she is pmsing or (egad) "on the rag". Mention of either of these will mean banishment to the dog house with a slice of cold pizza, a bottle of lotion and your hand for a LONG TIME. See - I'll be honest with you. A woman who is actually experiencing pms isn't always going to see things rationally. Have no fear though! The woman you love has not turned into a 3 headed hate beast from hell. She is just dealing with the natural affects of the chemicals going through her body. Unfortunately she can and will take it out on anyone close. Even strangers can feel the wrath of a woman hormonal.

Think in terms of heavy emotional responses and you will be close to understanding how pms affects the mind. If she is down or cries easily, be kind. Do nice things without having to be asked. Take out the trash, do the dishes or laundry. If she has to ask you to do things when she is dealing with pms, scrambling to do what she asks will only piss her off. Rub her back, or better, her feet. Just be kind to her, pms is hard. You irrationally think that everyone hates you, you can do no right and that you are the ugliest thing on two feet. DO NOT PATRONIZE her by telling her she is being stupid. Just be there for her.

What's so amazing about really deep thoughts?

So here we are again, you must like it in my head to keep coming back. That or you are totally bored out of your skull... Hmmm

Well, I decided to join facebook. I have a myspace but I only have used it once. I needed an outlet the day my grandmother died. Myspace fit the bill. I haven't been back since, I cant read the words I wrote that day.

But I digress. We were talking about facebook I think :)

So I got all signed up and did a profile. Then it gave me a bunch of people who I might know. I found people I worked with, people from HIGH SCHOOL (good and bad), and old friends I hadn't talked to in years. I found out one is a college professor in Athens GA, another is a HR director for a hospital. A dear friend is a high school math teacher (YO WENDELL!). I also found a lot of interesting groups-Hooray for Big Boobies-made me laugh so much I had to join. Well, the laughing and the fact that I am a member of that club LOL! I also found celebrities fan pages, tons of wonderful music pages and interesting movie groups (TAPEHEADS YEAH!). I have even had the privilege of talking with a few very kind celebs. I guess this is where my mind is today.

I have seen a lot of "fangirl" stuff for these people. I think I saw "I luv u ur so hot" about a million times (sometimes I hate texting shorthand!-I'm such a hypocrite though, I have a "text" saying as my license plate). And that's just the feed that I get from the home page. I cant imagine what their pages look like. One of the people seemed so upset the other night it bothered me. I can see where the frustration comes from, so much noise its hard to hear yourself think. "Fans" forget that "celebrities" are people. I think Oprah had one of the best quotes about celebrity-"Always remember this. No matter how famous a person is, everybody pees" The quote made me laugh but it is very true. No matter how high on a pedestal "fans" put their "stars", we are all human. We ALL have morning breath, we ALL fart, we ALL hate things about our bodies and we ALL pee.

This song is "Mad World" by Gary Jules. It's a Tears for Fears cover but the way he sings it, this has to be what some of these celebrities feel when faced with crazed, screaming fans. Everyone "knows" you but no one bothers to know you. I know, I put it on my facebook too but it is still in my head so I'm sharing it here too.

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/g/gary_jules/mad_world.html

Peace
C
ps, I took this picture at Children's Pool in La Jolla, CA a few summers ago.

Melancholy and such

It is raining tonight. Cold rain. This is the kind of night that makes me put on the Cure, 16 Horsepower or just pure piano music. I admit, I get a bit quiet when the weather is like this.

My mother has all sorts of theories about what makes us the way we are. She has run the gambit of birth order, personality types, color type...hell, even blood type. Amazingly, no zodiac. That's supernatural and not her at all.

So, in mom's book of what makes people tick:

I am a firstborn, which means I am a perfectionist, stubborn and driven. All True

I am what she calls a melancholy. Means I am creative, very deep feeling and can be prone to depression-I take the weight of the world on my shoulders. True again. I am very empathic, I feel people's moods around me. I guess it's hard to hide things around me, I pick things up too much.

Color type-eh-I am blond haired and green eyed. I have type O pos blood-neither of these IMO shapes personality.

I guess Im just me. I love driving home in the early evening. I put my hair in a clip and roll the windows down. I put something soft on the stereo and look around. The sun at that hour starts to turn the mountains red and gold. The soft light makes the green of the trees and cacti almost glow. And the smell of the desert...earthy and green at the same time. The breeze is crisp but not cold. This at least for me, is what serenity feels like.
If Im in the mood, next time I will talk about the boob thing. Just right now, Im just going to listen to the rain on the roof.

Time for a Story!

Good Mornin, afternoon or otherwise :)

Sooo, I WAS gonna talk about a group on facebook I joined called HOORAY FOR BIG BOOBIES, but I guess I promised you a story. I could do it from the perspective of "once upon a time" but it might get confusing. Might be an interesting challenge, but that's for later...

So, the story of how I met hubby...

Well, it starts in February of 1993. I had just graduated from art school and was working for the Tucson Shopper-what we called the "armpit of the art industry"-doing ad design, layout and production. They decided to downsize the art dept, which meant that the last to be hired was the first to go. Yep, that was me. So, off to unemployment I went. I had to apply at 3 places a week to keep my benefits-which were not much believe me. I started applying at places near my home. I applied at a store called Phar-mor. It was a big discount variety store and man, they had everything and CHEAP! They even had a discount pharmacy. I got hired there as a cashier. Now, this was a deep deep discount store. At that time, not all stores had scanners. Some, like Phar-mor, had hand punched registers and price tags. The intercom was a cb radio. Primative sure but by far the most fun job I ever had.

So, It was April '93. I was sitting in the living room watching the news on tv. A segment starts about Phar-mor and how the ceo, Mickey Monus, had faked the inventories in the stores and embezzeld so much money that they were shutting down all the stores west of the Mississippi. That is how I found out I was going to loose my job.

I started looking for a new job and was hired at Office Max, which was right next door to Phar-mor. I worked out my two weeks before leaving. My last day at Phar-mor was payday. I was feeling good, I had secured a job and I had money in my pocket. It was a hot day in mid May, so I decided to get a soda from the vending machine. I remember the Coke machine was a quarter (remember, DEEP discount store). I walked over to the machine to buy a soda. I looked over and noticed a tall man standing at the cash office. I remember thinking he looked really upset. I didnt know him at all. I thought he was so upset, he could use a soda. So, I said to him "You look like you could use a soda, would you like one?" He looked suprised that I would offer but said yes. So, I bought him a soda.

We spent the rest of my last shift talking. He had worked in the pharmacy. When they closed the pharmacy, he had come up front to be a cashier. We talked about all sorts of things. I discovered he was part of the local Rocky Horror Picture Show stage group. I had always wanted to go to the live show but never had. It was Saturday and the show was that night. So, he invited me to go. I didnt know him from adam so I said I would meet him there. You know, just in case he was a nut and I had to escape...

Well, I got there a bit late. I went up to say hi. He was standing there, in the theater, in a pair of tidy whities and white socks. He was playing the part of Brad that night. He sat next to me like that, unfazed and unembarrased, just talking with me. I remember being so impressed that he was completely confident, sitting there, in a dark theater, in his underwear, with a girl he just met.

That was the beginning. We were together every day after that. On July 1, 1993, a party was held at a local bar. It was a farewell party for Phar-mor. Later that night, he asked me to marry him.
I said yes. We had dated 6 weeks.

I joke that I never pay retail, not even for my husband :)

This year we will be together 16 years and married 15. I love him as much today as the day I said yes.

I know I pretty much telling this story for 3 people, but I still wanted to tell it.

Happy New Year

Hi again
Sitting here today, relishing my extra day off. It is a beautiful clear sunny day and 72 degrees. It feels like a sunday. I like sundays.

Got a phone call today from my father in law. Told me something I all ready suspected. My sister in law is pregnant. Again. That will make their 5th child in 6 years. I used to feel...kinda defective because I cant have kids. I would get really weepy and depressed. Holiday family gatherings sucked, I would always get that sympathetic look from relatives "oh, it will be your turn next" and bullshit like that. Well, after finding out about niece or nephew #8, I am not weepy. Or depressed. Or sad. I have my serenity. I have my warm sunbeam that hits my chair, I have my loving husband and my health. I am happy and content. Sure, there are things I would like to do, but my happiness doesnt depend on them.

All this has me thinking about the dreaded New Years Resolution. I dont like them. I think that people often make resolutions that are idealistic rather than realistic. Kinda sets a person up for an inevitable fall. I dont go for that. You know me, I read a lot from a lot of sources. So, I was reading the January 1st edition of the Arizona Daily Star. Dear Abby (yeah I know, "OMG, Dear Abby, SERIOUSLY?!? but come on, bear with me) had something that really spoke to me and I wanted to share it with you.

She calls it Words to live by in a new year
DEAR READERS: Welcome to a brand-new year. I'm printing Dear Abby's list of New Year's resolutions-adapted by my mother from the original credo of Al-Anon.
JUST FOR TODAY, I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
JUST FOR TODAY, I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.
JUST FOR TODAY, I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.
JUST FOR TODAY, I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.
JUST FOR TODAY, I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I'll improve my appearance, speak softly and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I'll refrain from improving anybody but myself.
JUST FOR TODAY, I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I'm overweight, I'll eat healthy
-if only just for today.

You dont have to be a member of Al-Anon for this to have meaning. It is the ol' one day at a time, but it is very true. Make a change today. Tomorrow is another day. If you mess up today, so what. Fall down seven times, get up eight.

It is my sincerest wish that you all have a beautiful, peaceful and fulfilling year.
My next posting, I will tell you a story. The story of how I met my husband. It is a good story, I promise ;)
Peace be with you all
C