Are you a grape or a watermelon?

Ah yes, and so we've come to it. You have been waiting for me to be in a better mood. Well, I am finally in the mood to discuss-AWESOME BOOBAGE.

As I mentioned previously, I joined a group on facebook called HOORAY for BIG BOOBIES. Started by a woman with an-ahem-ample bosom. If you have read my blog before you might have started to get to know my way of thinking. I might be vulgar, gross and blunt-but I am always upfront and honest.

So, honest. Hmm. I have big boobs. Really big boobs. I wear a 42 DDD bra. Now, lets dissect that a bit. The measure of a bra takes two things into account. This is the part to pay attention to guys (filthy buggers, love you too!) The number is the measurement (inches) around the woman's chest. That would be under the breast, against the ribcage, and around the torso. Now, the measure that the guys wonder about. You hear things like "did she have grapes or big melons" or the inevitable "anything bigger than a handful is a waste". WELL, those statements pertain to cup size. That would be the letters. They start at AA and most bras go up to DDD. You think it stops there? Oh contraire, mon petites, specialty stores go up to N and higher. Did you see Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo? The scene in the whorehouse with Neil Patrick Harris? That is an N. BTW, that scene, one of the funniest, jaw dropping lines "Im gonna rock out with my c*ck out and you're gonna jam out with your clam out, it's gonna be magical". LOVE NPH!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LskZpU-zjM0
It's another one that is exponentally funnier after a shot of tequilla.

But again, I ramble. The combination is a woman's bra size. I read somewhere that 85% of women wear the wrong size bra. Amazing. Boobs grow and shrink depending on weigh gain or loss, pregnancy, breast feeding, augmentation, reduction...the list goes on and on. I have been an F, but I am down (ha!) to a DDD. I am only 5'3". Even when I was thinner I had big breasts. Yeah heredity. Short and boobtastic, that's me.

Im reading a book called The Erotic Tounge. No, its not an instruction manual for cunnilingus. It is a lexicon of slang, euphemismn, inuendo and quaint terms for sex, sex acts, body parts, obscenity and dirty talkin'. Think of how many words you know for penis. How many can you name? How many terms for breasts? Where did the term sexual intercourse come from? This book has been interesting, funny and an eye opener.

And thus, I end this post about big un's with a poem
-Ode to Those Four-Letter Words
A woman has bosoms, a bust, or a breast,
Those lily-white swellings that bulge 'neath her vest
They are towers of ivory, sheaves of new wheat,
In a moment of passion, ripe apples to eat.
You may speak of her nipples as small rings of fire
But by Rabelais' beard, she'll throw fifteen fits
If you speak of them roundly as good honest tits.