Good evening all! I sit here tonight with you, scared. I have to have oral sugery tomorrow morning. They are going to put me under with a general. I have had surgery twice. More deep down frightening than anything the Saw movies can dish out. So, since I am trying very hard to distract myself from the fact that my tooth hurts and I am thirsty (no water or food for 8 hours before...) I am going to talk about something near and dear. Just feels like a big weight I have to get off my chest. Yes, for those keeping score, that was a pun. sheesh-I am TRYING to cheer myself up for cryin out loud!
Soo, get into the time machine folks, back to ancient history. Hair Metal ruled and men wore just as much if not more makeup and hairspray as women. 1990, 1989...1988 Ah, 1988. Music sucked, it was all processed cheese. Movies wern't as bad. 1988 brought us one the greatest chick flicks of all time. Beaches. Men ovulate at the mere mention of this movie... Two girls meet, become friends, grow up, one gets famous, one becomes a lawyer and dies. There it is, in a nutshell. You have to have boobs to understand why women have to watch Beaches any time it comes on tv.
Ah come on, gimme a break. If you read my blog you know I am the MISTRESS of tangents. But this one has a point. Bette Midler sings a song in the movie called Otto Titzling. It's a song about the origins of the bra or "over the shoulder boulder holder" HOORAY!
Well, it basically says Otto Titzling invented the bra after watching a big boobed opera singer fall over from the weight of her breasts. He invented the "Titsling". Which was stolen by "none other than the very worst of the French Patent theives, Phillipe D. Brassiere" Which is why its called a brassiere and not a titsling.
Only problem, it's a crock of doodie. Here is the article from Snopes
http://www.snopes.com/business/origins/bra.asp
Apparantly the first bras were invented in the mid 1860's but corseting had been around for several centuries. The Greeks even had a type of chest binding.
So my dear friends, if I die tomorrow (Im melodramatic and hormonal, so sue me!) know I loved making you laugh. I hope you chase your dreams, pass along random kindness to strangers and have a meaningful, fulfilling life.
I leave you with this, a couple stanzas from "Otto Titsling"
"...Oh, my god! There she blows!
Aerodynamically this girl was a mess.
Otto eyeballed the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds,
and he suddenly felt the fire of inspiration
flood his soul. He knew what he had to do!
He ran back to his workshop
where he futzed and futzed and futzed.
For Otto Titsling had found his quest:
to lift and mold the female breast;
to point the small ones to the sky;
to keep the big ones high and dry!
Every night he'd sweat and snort
searching for the right support.
He tried some string and paper clips.
Hey! He even tried his own two lips!..."
and of course, a link for youtube! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqxWhBZXF8Q
No comments:
Post a Comment