Monday, December 21, 2009

So this is Christmas, and what have you done?


Well, something I HAVEN'T done is keep current on my blog! I could wax on with excuses but I think that just leaving it at "life can kick your ass and get in the way" is sufficient.

So wow, it's December 21st. The damn year is almost over. It's hard to believe but as I get older time is seeming to speed up. Do you remember as a kid, that it just took FOREVER for your birthday or Christmas to come? You would get sooo excited about parties and presents and holidays? I look back now from here and the passage of time at light speed leaves me speechless. I look at friends and family-having kids and believe it or not GRANDKIDS and I look in the mirror...the jumble of thoughts that come to me-it's hard to put into words. I dont feel old enough to have kids-AT ALL! But as my illustrious mother keeps reminding me (since I turned 30 btw) that Im almost 40. Holy Sh*t. Im not old enough to be almost 40. God, does that sound dumb.

You know, I feel screwed. Not only do I have to deal with the holiday blues but I get to deal with PMS on top of it. So, instead of just feeling old, ugly, fat and that everyone hates me, I get all that with a big dollup of holiday stress like a freaking cherry on top. Makes me think of Avenue Q's "It Sucks to be Me". Haha.

I guess time is a bitch that will catch us all.

Ive spent a bit on time on Facebook. Ok, yeah I admit I check every day. I have found old friends from high school, made new friends with old high school aquantances, met new model horse people and even a few famous people (who btw are just people like everyone else but with very public profile jobs-which is cool but I dont think I could take the constant scrutiny of every detail of my life). I see my friends status updates and feel privileged that I get to share even a small part of life with them. Highest of the high and lowest of the low, we are all riding around and around on the same blue marble in space, verdad?

Ok ok ok! I have to snap out of this. I guess that's what happens when you sit in an office by yourself all day, your mind starts spinning...

I will try to cheer up I promise, and I wont leave the blogging so long :)
later y'all
C

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