The Big Fat Lie

This picture is the reality of "Ana" This girl died due to complications from Anorexia.

I recently became friends with a young woman on facebook. Not unusual I know. The reason I decided to be friends with her might be.

One of my friends tagged me to do a "25 random things about you" list. I did and tagged 25 people-well, 19 as that is all I have in my friends ;) I was looking at a few other lists that tagged some of the people I had and came across this girl's "50 things about me" list. I read about how she hated her body, her shape, her size...how she was so fat. I think she weighs all of 110 pounds. I saw a pretty girl, she saw FAT and UGLY. She is 17. I thought about my self image and self esteem at her age. I felt awkward and shy. I was smart and pretty, just very shy with the same low self esteem and body image issues as my new friend. I am 5'3" and at that time I was a size 14. I was healthy-not a stick but not "fat".

My mother has had a lifelong weight and self esteem battle. My entire life she has been on a diet. I was raised on diet soda and "low fat" because oh dear god you don't want to be FAT! Well, I'm now 37. I am a overweight person. Man, that is a hard line to type. I am and I admit it. My mother now sends me all sorts of diet this and loose weight now that, recipes from spark people, gift subscriptions to weight watchers magazine and articles on how "fat people can't_________. Yeah, that's right, it is a fill-in the blank. Because if you can think it, she has sent it to me. She makes statements like "well, when you loose weight you will be happy" I am a happy contented person but all she sees is fat. Since she con notates fat with unhappiness, she assigns that unhappiness to me.

And why? Why the hysteria at the mere word FAT? I have my own theories which I will share but first, I did a little googly research before starting this entry tonight. I started with one word. Anorexia. I saw stories and pictures of dead and dying people who look like they were right out of the concentration camps. The difference is that these poor souls have starved themselves. The stories are heartbreaking, lives just starting being ended by this quest for skinny.

But alas, the Internet can shock more. When I did the anorexia search, I found other sites. Sites about life with "Ana" and "Mia". Ana and Mia are Anorexia and Bulimia. These sites offer weight loss support and encouragement for anorexics and bulimics. It was a how to for eating disorders. Hints on how to hide your disease, how to pretend to eat, how to work through the hunger...on and on. Other sites I saw were nofatchicks.com which made fun of fat girls including pictures. Sad to say, several of the people they labeled fat were not. Oh, don't forget the pictures of "happy" fat guys emblazoned with "I BEAT ANOREXIA" tshirts.

Which brings me back to why. Why is fat a dirty word? My thoughts on the whole thing, well...
1. Fashion magazines and clothing designers are designing for women with the body of a 8 year old boy. I read somewhere that the average size of the American woman is a size 14. When will the fashion industry wake up to reality. Real women generally are not a size 0-2. Real women have curves and breasts and butts. Real women eat carbs. A woman who wears a size 0-2 has no boobs let alone a cleavage. Guys, you like to motorboat?? You won't get far with one of these women. The fashion industry makes us feel inadequate and fat - no matter if you are never going to be 5'10" and 100 pounds.

2. The diet industry is a multi billion dollar business. What do you think would happen to their pills and books and programs if they actually worked? What if their products really "cured" obesity? Bye bye business. It is their job along with the fashion industry to make you hate yourself and not be able to accept yourself. If you look in the mirror and say "god I hate the way I look" and then slimquick, or Jenny Craig, or Alli commercial comes on the TV... That if you take brand X, you will loose weight and your life will be perfect! News flash, life isn't perfect, no matter what pill or program or book you buy. My mother's favorite magazine-Woman's World- has a new diet every week. I mentioned this to her. She said "no they don't". I let it drop but she later came to me and said that she had gone through 2 years of the magazine (yeah, she keeps them) and that I was right. Not only did every one of the 104 magazines have a diet but that they seemed to rotate. Several of the diets pop up over and over. So, this magazine has a stake in you feeling fat. If you are fat and want to diet -"Here's the magic secret", their magazine.

I am fat. Their are things about my body that I do not like. If you have read my blog in the past, you know that I can be blunt but that I don't lie. Diets are a lie. There is no magic bullet or pill to loose weight. I am working on my weight but I am doing it for the right reasons. I want to be healthier. I know that loosing weight is a journey. It took time to gain, it will take time to loose. It is about making good choices. Do you buy the Super chunky hungry man stew or do you make chili at home with turkey and barley? Do you go for the super size coke and fries with your double quarter pounder or do you get a grilled chicken sandwich plain and eat only the meat and give the bun to the pigeons? Well, that's not enough to eat you say? Get the super large ice tea and a fruit and walnut salad. Go to Wing Stop or Subway?

Great book out now called "Eat This Not That". It is a great help for people of all sizes trying to make better eating choices.

It all comes down to you. You have to love you. You can still not like your stomach but if you don't love yourself then how do you expect anyone else to see how great you really are? I'm fat but I really, really do love myself :) Don't ever forget to love YOU too!!