Cramps suck

Hi gentle readers. Im sorry I cant think of anything fun today, I have cramps. You know, I really love being a female, except for a couple days a month. Strange thing is I didnt have them as a teen. Friends would moan and groan about cramps. I thought you wus, deal. Well, nature is vengeful.

Started a few years ago. Cramps. Evil, twist your uterus into a pretzel and add salt cruelty. It only lasts the first couple days but oh gawd...can I just rip the thing out? I dont have kids, Im not gonna have kids, I dont need it! Im not using it! Alas, I hate surgery and hospitals more so I guess the naughty plumbing bits get to stay. Oh, and realized when the cramps started, another evil reared it's head. Dawned on me at work one day. Granted at the time I was a retail print shop manager and people can be really stupid, but it came to me that I hated everyone and everything. Even customers I liked pissed me off. Really, irrationally pissed off. I went home that day angry. I laid down and bawled like someone took my toys away. Hubby got home and I tearily asked him to hold me and tell me he loved me and that I wasnt worthless scum. My wonderful hubby did just that. Later when I had calmed down I figured out what it was...PMS. No, you printing geek, not pantone matching system! The other PMS, the "are you on the rag" one. I am a bitch on wheels about a week before. Thankfully I realize when its happening and am able to step back and say whoa!

Guys need to have cramps. Then and only then will the stupid rag question be forever banned and its utterance is punishable by a kick to the balls. Of course there are a couple things that help ease cramps.
1. Sex: all things are cured by a really good O
2. Pedicure: Rub my feet and let me sit in the massage chair
3. Grande Margarita: On the rocks with salt. By the time you hit the bottom all things are good
and finally
4. Percoset: Pain? Um, what's my name again?

Love to you all, all 3 of you LOL!
Oh, BTW, my new bags are up on etsy, check em out http:///www.recycledbootybags.etsy.com
Good night, I tried choice 2 yesterday, time for another number! Hmm which one??