Saturday, December 21, 2019

Very long time away but Im not dead!

So, a lot of life happens when you don't plan it. I stopped blogging in 2008 because my life was overwhelming. Though, looking back, its nothing compared to now. My loving husband turned out to be an epic lying cheat, screwing many many women behind my back. He walked out in 2013 and the divorce was finalized in 2015. He left me for a woman 10 years older, mousey with 2 kids. She destroyed a 30 year marriage for his ED affected a**. Just like that. I knew he was bi but never acted on it to my knowledge. The reason he left was he decided he was "poly" and I would never accept that. Yeah. Polyamory is when all parties involved are aware and on board with the arrangement. What he did was straight adultery. For the first time since I was 22, I was alone. I decided to go back to school. I got my liberal arts degree in 2017 and in May of 2020, I will graduate with a Bachelors in Elementary Education. I discovered that I am stronger and more myself without him. I am no longer a them, I am a ME. My life is about me, what I want, what I feel and where I want to be. Selfish. A bit, but after giving everything of myself to another who didn't truly love me enough to be with just me, I am entitled to some selfishness. I love working with the kids. They are challenging, frustrating but so true and honest. Children don't mess around. They don't create false personas, at least not the young ones. They are who they say they are. I need that in my life. They are sweet and love to tell you about their day, their dog, their siblings and what they ate for breakfast. A child hugs you and says they will miss you, they mean every second. I love guiding their learning. Helping them sound out words, how to spell Christmas and teaching them math are fulfilling experiences. My job is good. I still work in printing but I have been through 5 stores and 4 jobs since 2008. 2 stores closed and I got to another store. My current store I work with some truly kind and good hearted people. They are my managers but I also call them friends. I just finished my last full semester of classes before student teaching. I am a member of Phi Theta Kappa, on the Dean's List and am currently holding a 3.85 GPA. I did this all on my own. I am proud of my achievements and have every right to be. To my ex. You missed out on an amazing, smart, beautiful, fully and accomplished person. I found her...in the mirror.

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