Reflection on Unemployment and Chiles

Heya, bet you thought I fell off the earth right? Nope, Im still here. Ive been super busy up until a few weeks ago.

What happened you ask?

Well, what has happened to 10% of the population of the US? Yep, I was laid off.

Woah you're saying-you havent posted in a long time, what the eff happened?

Hmm, I was working for printing company "A" for the last 3 years. They were having problems. Big problems, from people not paying their bills to not charging enough to make ends meet. Constant bill collector phone calls. It wasnt pretty. They were good people, they just got into a bad situation and it got to the point where they couldnt do it anymore. Sad, they had been in business since 1962, to be finally brought down by the recession. They had been doing furloughs to try to help their financial situation. That last week I worked one day, and for several weeks before I had only worked 2 days a week. Needless to say I was having to rely on savings to make ends meet. So I walked in to get my check and they are packing the office to leave and close the doors.

Yeah, no notice whatsoever to me or any of the other employees, I walked in and was given a box for my stuff. The printing company that was going to continue with the clients was taking the estimator who has made working with him highly unpleasant and the other prepress/bindery person, but not me.

I was unemployed, for the first time since I graduated art school in 1992. It was a real sense of loss. I told my family and they were wonderful and supportive, as family is supposed to be.

It took me a few days but I filed for employment. Two days later, company "B" asked my former boss to have me come in for an interview. Seems my former boss and the clients had talked me up to the point that they wanted to meet me. Went in, great place, great staff. Very happy workers, that's always a good sign. Did the interview and had to take a personality test and an aptitude test. I passed in flying colors. They hired me. Four months later they lay me off because "they are happy with me and would love to keep me, but they don't need 3 people in the dept and I am the low man". I really liked this job, they kept me busy.

I have had to work through my anger, disgust, panic and sadness. I was so angry with company B. Now though, I don't know. Im not crying as much as I did. Depression doesnt hit as often now. I guess the most horrifying thing to me was feeling like I was useless. That I was so easy to discard. I think it's a very basic human feeling to want to be of use-to be needed-to be wanted. I know it was a business decision pure and simple, but it felt like "we dont want you, you arent of enough value to keep".

It fucks with your head.

So now I am checking the websites daily for jobs, keeping my ear to the ground and so on. I have been embracing my inner "Martha Stewart".

Unemployment has made me really watch every penny. Since I use a lot of green chiles in cooking, I went to Sams Club to get the big packs of canned chiles. "Sorry, we dont cary it anymore, but we have the 5 lb can". WTF am I gonna do with a 5 lb can! I looked at the store. Walmart brand was .40 each. Cool, I buy a couple thinking I can get more later. Go back a week later and the same can was now .76 each. F that! I looked online for how to's and learned how to roast my own damn green chiles at home. 8 lbs of chiles later and now my freezer is well stocked. Lot of work, but they taste awesome! Not going back to canned. Ever.

Ok, I've gabbed your ear off enough for one day. I hope this update/rant hasn't depressed you too much.

Oh, if you know of anyone hiring for a production/prepress artist, shoot them my way!
Laters :)

Does this shirt make my butt look big?

Howdy campers, and welcome to a brand new year! 2010. Holy crap really? It seems like yesterday that we were all stocking up on water and canned goods because OH MY GOD the world was going to end-Y2K!!! RUN AAAAAHHHHH! I admit, I did buy extra bottles of water - you know, just in case. I justified it by the fact that my husband liked bottled water and he would consume it anyway...

Oh well, the world didnt end. We are all still here riding the blue green marble!

So today I decided I needed to start the year with a pedi. I used to go every two weeks but now I go once a month-we are all economizing you know :) So I had a relaxing pedi including cool sea green OPI polish and decided that since I had braved the mall, I was going to stop at Lane Bryant. The seasons are changing (at least in retailers minds) and so I thought there might be something interesting. Well, I did. I find it interesting that Lane Bryant and other stores for us big sexy bitches pays no attention to their real life clientelle.

Take for example the red number at the top. This top says less of "cute and sexy" and more of "cheap fingerhut bedspread" Come on, imagine someone say a size 26/28 in this top. Take a moment to get a good visual. Not pretty right? The ruffles and shiny material do nothing but make her look bigger. Sad thing is that this woman is probably a 10/12.

I like simpler clothing. Nice detailing sure but lets be real. Im a big girl. Sure I have a fantastic bustline and cleavage to die from, but framing my bodacious tatas in shiny red ruffles does nothing but make me look like I a) have absolutely no taste b) like looking 50 and c) dress in a room with no mirror.

This wasnt the worst top-by a long shot. The new sweaters are in candy colors straight out of 1984. They weren't cute then-they aren't cute now. Tank tops with ruffled layers...yeah no. It MIGHT be ok if they were meant to be worn with a light cardigan buuuut they aren't. Again visions of the 26/28 in this tank top... not pretty. I admit I am a 26/28. Granted Ive lost a little weight and am almost to 22/24 but still, I wouldnt be caught dead in this stuff. They cant honestly tell me that by adding sequins to the nipples of a empire waisted top is going to distract from my size. Rather than trying to distract with horrible ruffles, giant plastic jewels and sequins, lets try simple, flattering pretty clothing. Clothing that doesnt look like it belongs on my grandma-clothing that fits well-clothing that doesnt have patterns that look like a flamingo threw up. In other words, clothing that looks nice. Big girls are beautiful, why cant we have pretty clothes too?

We just need the retailers to pay attention.

Oh and btw retailers-big girls have big boobs. 28" tops on a woman with large breasts looks like a crop top. Really?? Seriously?? I dont think so! It seems they realize tops should be longer between 4 and 5x. Unfortunately for me-wearing a 3-4x, that doesnt really help.

Ah hell, maybe this is my calling. Going back to school-again for fashion design. Have you watched Project Runway? Not the current mess but the first 4 seasons? They design wonderful clothing-for size 0. An 8 year old girl is a size 0. Americans are getting bigger. I read somewhere that the average size of the American woman is a 12. A 12-not a 0. Sad that they ignore the pardon the pun-growing market for beautiful clothes in larger sizes.

Oh hell.

Well my friends, thats my rant. Take it, leave it, disregard it or learn from it-your choice.
'night.